


Star-crossed

by SapphyreLily



Series: Different Sun, Same Land [8]
Category: Guild Wars 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Banter, Gen, M/M, Original Character(s), and a tiny insight into why aeris is now an asshole, here's some background story on aeris and starmist's relationship, some incest insinuations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-10-24 14:30:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20707559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphyreLily/pseuds/SapphyreLily
Summary: It's hard to forget someone you once loved, especially if you still miss them. Starmist wonders and reminisces about the man he can't seem to forget.





	Star-crossed

**Author's Note:**

> SO! I actually wrote this in July 2018, but I never got around to editing and posting it. Good thing too, since LS5 gave me some information I needed to change some parts in it.
> 
> It'll probably seem a bit disjointed since my skills have (hopefully!) improved over the past year, but hopefully it doesn't read too badly.

_“Dreams are always dashed. Why do you still bother?”_

_Oh, shut up._

_“Don’t listen to the demon. Follow your heart, little one. Grow stronger, regain your confidence.”_

_“Aye. You are stronger than you think. You are still growing. Shape your future, lest you be turned to stone.”_

_Thank you, Glint, King Jalis. But please, leave me to think._

Starmist sighs, looking out over the darkened expanse beyond the boughs of the Tree. His hands are cramping from working for too long, but he doesn’t know what else to do. His heart is too heavy to do much else, and he needs a distraction that will not worsen his injuries.

(Funny, that sylvari can sustain injury and scar tissue like any other race.)

Maybe he should take a walk.

He packs up his materials, storing them carefully in his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. It’s a decent walk to the bower, but he knows he will still be restless after. His mind is spiralling downwards, and his heart sits like a rock in his chest.

_“Perhaps today is the day I will consume you, weakling.”_

_Oh, shut up, Mallyx._

_“Leave the sapling be. It is not his fault he keeps hearing us…”_

Starmist is grateful for Ventari's interjection, but he can’t find it in himself to reply, to thank him. He hopes the old centaur knows he is grateful.

He pushes aside the leaves covering the entrance of the garden, dropping his satchel just inside it. A cat walks past and stops to sniff it, turning away just as quickly. Starmist feels a hint of a smile tugging on his lips. Aoi's cats are helpful, sometimes.

His feet lead him away, wandering the small city. The Grove isn’t big by any means – it is just a tiny hub nestled between the Mother Tree's roots, the three levels intertwined by gentle slopes. The light shining out of blooming flowers make it warm – complimenting the spots of luminescence that the Tree herself has on the roots that form the slopes. Tiny spots of firefly luminescence are suspended in fine webbing in darker areas, little stars in the dark.

The various forms of lighting are not bright enough to darken the stars and the moon overhead, but are bright enough to light the path, to keep the nightmares at bay. The flowers by the slopes to each level brim with softly glowing nectar, winking gently at him, tempting him with their sweet contents.

He lifts a drop from a petal to taste; he doesn’t feel like running, he doesn’t feel like erasing the weight on him by throwing himself into the exhilaration gifted by the nectar. But he loves the flavour of it; sweet, life-giving, brimming with energy.

It sits on his tongue, light and heady, a burst of flavour to brighten his mood, just a little.

Starmist continues to wander.

His feet lead him; his eyes guide him. Shifting him away from where people congregate, directing him towards quieter areas. Still well lit, but less noise. Less…interference.

It is difficult, to hear and feel others so acutely, after he returned to Tyria from the Mists.

A small room. A little tunnel, leading up, then sloping down. It is lit by the glow at the end of grubs’ tails, the bands and spots on their bodies, and illuminates several other sylvari.

Their thoughts are peaceful, calm. He might stay here a while.

Starmist wanders partway down the tunnel, sitting on a clear patch of ground. A grub crawls up to him, its feelers tickling his cheek. He strokes its face, gently pushes it on its way. Its interest is captured by a nearby leaf, and it wriggles off.

“Starmist? By the Tree, is it really you?”

He turns towards the voice, lips already lifting. This is a good voice to hear. “Sei. It is good to see you.”

“And you, sapling. Come away, don’t sit where the grubs can chew on you. I know a quiet place that is far cleaner.” The shorter sylvari beckons him forward, and Starmist gets to his feet. His quiet time might have been interrupted, but he can think of no better person to have found him.

There is a little room by the grub tunnels, filled with puffy pod-chairs. It is here that Sei seats him, offering a drink as he sinks into the exquisitely soft chair.

The liquid is cool – water sweetened with a dash of nectar. Not much, but it’s all he needs. He has never been one for fancy drinks, especially not after his experiences with Wintersday spirits.

Sei sits beside him, cupping his own drink. Starmist snorts as the mender sinks into the chair, making him shorter than he usually is.

Sei rolls his eyes. “At least you haven’t forgotten how to laugh.”

“I guess not.” Starmist's voice is quiet, a little smile in it. “But–” He mimes how Sei sank into the chair, “–it was funny.”

“If you like insulting my chairs, you are welcome to sit on a regular stool.” Sei sniffs, ignoring the jibe. “These are _comfortable._”

“I never implied they weren’t.”

“Good. Laena loves them. Anything she loves is generally a job well done.”

“She’s picky.”

“She has good taste,” Sei corrects. “But enough about her.” He fixes Starmist with his piercing gaze, and he squirms in his seat. “Tell me what bothers you.”

There’s no lying to a mender, especially one as astute as Sei.

Starmist sighs. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know, or you don’t want to talk about it?”

“I–” Truth be told, he hadn’t thought about it too deeply. But he thinks of his last letter, the one he sent with Sabadi, and he feels like that might be it.

“I…was thinking about Aeris again.”

“Aeris.” Sei sniffs. If he had been a cruder man, he would have spat on the floor. “What a horrible sapling he turned out to be. Charr are terrible influences.”

Starmist stares at the liquid in his cup, no longer thirsty. His throat is too tight. “Yeah. Most of them.”

“Most of them,” Sei agrees. “The ones that don’t conform to their precious Citadel’s orders are a lot more amenable.”

Starmist can’t deny that. He’s met Hyousetsu twice, and for a gladium, she’s surprisingly good-hearted. Gruff, but kind.

“Why were you thinking about him?”

Starmist glances up. Sei is looking at his cup, tracing the rim. He’s not pressing for answers, neither with his gaze nor the tone of his words. But he waits, all the same, for a reply.

Starmist bites his lip, wondering the same.

(Not really, not really. He knows why.)

“I’ve… Been dreaming about him again. So I wondered. What could have happened if I held on. If I pushed a little more, tried a little harder, when I found out he was in Ascalon, when I came back from the Mists.”

“Do you wish it went differently?”

“Maybe.” He doesn’t look up. “I wish he wasn’t so hostile. That he’d give us a chance again.”

“Ascalon changed him, as the Mists changed you. You’re more adaptable now. You could still talk to him.”

“Maybe.” He hesitates. Even thinking about talking to Aeris makes his heart stutter out of beat. With terror. Fear. Pain.

<strike>He doesn’t want to be rejected again. Not after their last meeting, when Aeris made clear that he wanted nothing to do with him.</strike>

“What about speaking to him with Murasaki as a mediator?”

Starmist’s heart rate spikes. “No. That’s the worst thing I could do.”

“Why?”

It sounds absurd in his head, and even worse aloud. “He thinks I want to be with her.”

Sei snorts, almost spilling his drink. “Is he mad? Those charr really have done something to his brain.”

“I don’t know.” Starmist feels bad even thinking about it. He doesn’t like thinking badly about Aeris, even if those accusations might be true. “He almost killed me the last time we met.”

“Oh, he’s definitely mad. I should send Laena after him, slap some sense into his underwatered brain.”

It hurts to laugh, and the sound that comes out is choked. Trust a mender to think of ‘underwatered’ as an insult. Trust _this _mender to send a Warden after a ‘rogue’ sapling.

Sei reaches over and pats his hand. “We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about it, Starmist.”

Starmist nods mutely, but he can barely think. He feels like he might cry.

_Stop it. You’re not this weak._

_“Yes, you are.” _Shiro sounds bored. _“Just kill the nuisance and be done with it. It worked with Cantha.”_

_I am not assassinating a man I still love, Shiro._

_“I loved the Emperor once. He tried to kill me, so I killed him first.”_

_“Men are disgusting. I agree with the assassin.”_

_“Rather ironic, Scorchrazor.”_

_“The only time I agree with a man is when his opinion is not completely misogynistic.”_

_Kalla, Glint, please._

“Arguing with the spirits again?”

Starmist looks up, catching Sei’s amused look. He gestures at Starmist’s face. “You always get this look when they start talking to you.”

A tiny smile lifts his lips. It’s mostly exasperation. “Yeah. Some of them say I should kill him first.”

“Violence begets violence,” Sei says. “If you are the bigger man, you wouldn’t do it.”

_But am I?_

_“You are.”_

He doubts it.

_“You still love him, do you not?”_

_You know I do._

“What will you do?” It’s Sei speaking, not one of the spirits.

_I don’t know._

“I don’t know,” he whispers. “You’re right, the Mists changed me. I’m too scared for confrontation now.”

“You used to confront people too much in the past anyway.” Sei sips his drink, eyes thoughtful. “Funny, how your roles have swapped. Aeris used to be the quiet one.”

Starmist snorts. “Not with me, he wasn’t. He was so cheeky, but also tender, sarcastic, impassive… He was a kaleidoscope, but only behind closed doors. Ascalon seems to have filtered his emotional range, and now he doesn’t care about offending others or being nasty to them.”

“Not to Murasaki, I hope.”

“_Even _to Murasaki.”

Sei's eyebrows look like they might disappear into his non-existent hairline. “And here I thought he loved her more than anything.”

“That doesn’t stop him from arguing with her.” Starmist chews on the rim of his cup. “I don’t think she minds that much. She’s been referring to him as 'a pain, but _my_ pain'.”

“Always adaptable, that one.” Sei chuckles. “If she’d give up her responsibilities, I could make a mender out of her.”

“She’d never do it. She feels like she has to do it all herself, especially now with Trahearne gone.”

“I know,” the mender sighs. The Firstborn's passing – sacrifice – is still a difficult subject for all sylvari. “It doesn’t stop me from worrying. She’ll get herself really hurt one day, from trying to be everywhere at once.”

Starmist doesn’t think it’s a good idea to tell him that she already died once.

Sei stretches, then leans over to pluck the empty cup from Starmist’s hand. “Well, don’t worry too much. You’ll reconcile with Aeris in due time.”

Starmist tries to smile, but his heart turns in the opposite direction from his lips. “I hope so.”

_I really, really hope so._

\-----

Aron follows the magenta glow to its source at the top of a small cliff, plopping down beside his friend. He follows his gaze to the small camp where their warband rests, the fire dying down, the last few retreating to their tents.

They’d reach the Citadel soon. A few more days. He can almost see it now: Deliver their reports. Get some approved time off. And after that, a new assignment – hopefully nowhere near Ebonhawke.

He doesn’t have much hope of that. The Iron Legion Imperator likes sending as many troops out there as possible, even though the treaty with the humans is holding strong. The Separatist ranks never seem to thin out, and the Renegades are just as annoying.

But he doubts that is what brought his friend up here.

“What’s burning your leaves?”

Aeris shoots him a sour look. “I’m not _that_ upset.”

Aron snorts. “Sure you aren’t. You’re sulking on a cliff. The higher you go, the more upset you are.”

“I hate that I’m so predictable,” Aeris grumbles. “Fine, yes, I’m upset. What of it?”

“What’s it about? If it causes you to leave even more clones behind in the morning, Legionnaire Blizzardblade won’t be pleased.”

Aeris grumbles more. “Just thinking.”

“Oh no, _thinking_.”

“Shut your trap, fuzzball.” Aeris shoves him, but there’s little heat behind the action. “I was just thinking about my sister’s friend.”

“The tall thief?”

“No, not that one.”

“The gladium and her ranger?”

“No.”

Aron counts off individuals on his fingers. “The Soundless, the Courtier, the other thief; the human guardian or one of her sisters; the other ranger, the other _other_ guardian and ranger–”

“No to all of those.” Aeris sounds sour. “The revenant.”

Aron’s ears prick up. “Never heard of that one.” To be fair, he reasons to himself, there aren’t many revenants in Tyria. He only knows they exist because the most famous one is charr.

“Because I don’t talk about him.” The sylvari sounds downright grumpy, maybe even bitter. “I don’t like thinking about him.”

“Wow.” Aron is impressed. “What did he do that you hate him so much? And how is he still your sister’s friend?”

Aeris glares. “Are you implying I chase away all of my sister’s friends?”

“You said it, not me.”

Aeris punches his arm. “I do not.”

“Evidently, because this revenant is still your sister’s friend.”

He can almost see the steam pouring from Aeris’s ears. “Okay, I’m not telling you after all. You’re being annoying.”

“Fine, then.” Aron stretches, getting to his feet.

A hand catches the hem of his pants, preventing him from walking away. Aron raises his eyebrows, but the sylvari isn’t looking at him.

He sits down.

It takes four cycles of the sylvari's glow brightening and dimming before he begins to speak. “The revenant's name is Starmist. He used to be my lover.”

Aron can’t help it; he splutters. Not so much because his friend had a male lover but because– “And now you hate him?”

“What made you think that?!”

“Your face and how much you don’t want to talk about him,” Aron points out. “But go on. This is the juiciest thing I’ve ever heard from you.”

“Aron Blizzardclaw, I will put a bullet in your skull–”

“I’ll set you on fire first. Anyway, about your lover.”

“_Ex_-lover,” Aeris stresses. “We’re not on talking terms anymore.”

“Alright, seriously, what did he do to get your leaves all withered?” Aron is perplexed. “I’ve never seen you this agitated, even when your sister died.”

“She came back.”

“Not the _point_. You evidently care more about this guy than your sister, and that’s saying something. The whole warband – heck, all of the Citadel, even Tyria – knows you have a sister complex.”

“I– I do _not_!”

“Yes, you do, you mottled leaf.” Aron cuffs his head. “Who is this man? I must meet him.”

“Oh, no, you don’t, you meddling fluff.” Aeris shoves him. “Starmist can stay far away from you and me, for the rest of my life if necessary–”

There’s something in his voice that gives Aron pause. The forced hardness, the over-the-top aggression.

(The edge of hysteria.)

“You still love him, don’t you?”

Aeris splutters, his glow so intense it’s almost red. “What are you talking about?”

Aron points a claw at his face. “That. And here I thought sylvari couldn’t blush.”

“You’re a pile of dolyak manure.”

“You didn’t deny it,” Aron observes. “What’s so special about this guy?”

Aeris says nothing, his glow slowly dimming as he gnaws on his lip. Aron waits.

“He’s my everything.”

(Soft, so soft. He’s heard Ash Legion walk more loudly than this.)

(Thank the Eternal Flame he has four ears.)

Aron blinks as the words register. Stares at his friend. Clears his throat. “Come again?”

“I’m not repeating that.” The blush is back in full force, and the charr has to hold back a laugh. “I know you heard me.”

“Well, yes, but– Man, that was disgustingly sweet.”

“I’m not talking to you anymore.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Aron groans. “How does the Commander live with you?”

“She was born with me.”

“No technicalities.”

Aeris snorts. They are silent for a while.

“So. This guy a sylvari?”

“Yes.” Aeris sounds like he’s sulking again. Aron rolls his eyes.

“And you’re not talking to him anymore, why?”

“He pisses me off.”

“Now you’re contradicting yourself,” Aron growls. “You love him, but he annoys you. Sort yourself out!”

Aeris mumbles something incoherent. Or maybe it’s so jumbled up that none of Aron’s four ears can pick it up. “What?”

“I made a bit of a mistake.”

“Boy, am I surprised.”

“Shut it.” There’s no heat behind the words. “It was a misunderstanding, okay?”

“You don’t want to apologise.” Aron infers.

“…something like that.”

“Come on, it couldn’t have been that bad.”

“I _may_ have accused him of sleeping with my sister.”

Aron groans. “That is the least sylvari-like thing ever. Even _I _know sex is a secondary thing to you guys.”

“Shut up, I _know._” Aeris sounds aggrieved. “And there was another thing, but I’m not telling you _that_.”

“What, too personal? And here I thought _this_ was personal.”

“Even more personal, yes.” Aeris doesn’t even try to deny it, and Aron’s eyebrows raise to join his hairline.

“Well. Who knew?”

“Go away.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we going back to camp or what?”

The sylvari is quiet for a moment, then silently gets to his feet and takes the path down. Aron follows him, shooting quizzical looks at his friend’s back.

How odd. Maybe a ghost is possessing his friend. There’s no way he just said all of that of his own accord.

\-----

_A cold night, a frosty cave, the chill of the wind seeping into bones._

_They’re almost there, almost at the end. The dark room is coming to a close._

_Above their heads, the spirit of the pirate captain laughs._

_They ignore him._

_“Come on. One more platform.”_

_Hands grip each other tightly, before letting go. The pirate spirit lights the room again. _

_One second, a running jump, rolling and coming to a stop. _

_The light cuts as he rises to his feet. Breathless, a laugh bubbling out. _

_A panicked voice comes from behind him. “Starmist? Where are you?”_

_His heart sinks, his laughter dies. “Up here.”_

_“I can’t see you, where have you gone?”_

_He leans over the edge, gripping the stone carefully, just as the light blinks into existence._

_And snuffs out._

_But the image is still imprinted on his mind: an outstretched hand, a face filled with panic, a desperate reach for something that is unattainable._

_“I’ll wait for you. You remember the path out, right?”_

_A shaky breath. “Yeah.”_

_“You can do this. I’ll stay here.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“Yes. I’ll be the marker so you know where to go.”_

_“Okay.”_

The scene changes.

_Angry yelling, voices echoing back at them, ten times magnified._

_“You jumped without me!”_

_“It was an accident, I slipped!”_

_“Fine, but you didn’t wait!”_

_“It was cold and there might have been a shark in the water! I waited outside!”_

_“Excuses.”_

_“Get a grip, you found me in the end. It’s not that bad!”_

_“I thought you were _dead_!”_

_“Well, I’m not.” His voice sounds so cold. “Worry about yourself.”_

_A pause, an almost stunned silence. “Are you implying that I’m more likely to die?”_

_“If you don’t stop clinging to me, yes! I can’t be there all the time, Aeris.”_

_“Do you want to leave?”_

_The heavily implied, but unsaid 'me' at the end of his sentence hangs in the air. The pirate captain cackles behind them, ghostly echoes filling the cavern._

_Starmist holds his gaze but says nothing. Indignation courses through him. He will not say something he regrets, and he will not add fuel to the fire._

_He turns towards the exit and storms out of the cave._

The colours shift, the lighting increases.

_A rough shove sends him backwards, stumbling too close to the humming asura gate. He looks up, glares at his partner. “Stop.”_

_“You want me to be more assertive, don’t you? So, watch me.”_

_Another shove, but this time Starmist is ready. He catches Aeris’s hands, pushing him back. He may be shorter, but Aeris is unused to combat and brute force. He can win this._

_The surge of strength takes him by surprise, and they fall. The screams of the asura gate assistant is all he hears before his head compresses and his vision goes black. _

_He hits the floor, the breath knocked from his lungs, his head cracking against the ground._

_Beside him, Aeris struggles to push himself up. Starmist thinks he might have the same headache he does._

Serves him right.

_Something catches his eye – the odd surroundings, the metal of an airship, the strangely foggy air around them. The silence, the unnatural stillness._

_He blanches. _

We’re in the Mists. We have to get out.

_The asura gate hums beside them. He's sure it will take them back to Lion's Arch, but they have to move. Fast._

_“We need to go–”_

_“We should settle this here and now.” Aeris staggers to his feet, grabbing Starmist by the arm. The shorter sylvari yanks it away, glaring._

_“We need to get back to Tyria, _now_.”_

_“Why not finish this here? No one is watching.” The taller folds his arms, and Starmist feels his anger returning._

_“You have terrible priorities.”_

_“I could say the same about you.”_

_“I’m trying to keep us alive!”_

_“Really? Or just yourself?”_

_Starmist growls. “We’re in the _Mists._ There’s all sorts of things in here that could kill us!”_

_“If we’re in here, we’re dead anyway.”_

_“Not true. Some people have returned from the Mist War.”_

_“And even more haven’t. I can’t feel the Pale Mother here. Can you?”_

_He can’t. “Argue later, leave now.”_

_“You sound like an ettin,” Aeris sneers. “So simple-minded.”_

_“I dare you to say that again.” He steps forward, but Aeris holds his ground, chin held high._

_“I said–”_

_Starmist shoves him, catching him off guard. Aeris stumbles and trips and falls backwards – eyes wide, body passing through the shimmering haze of the asura gate._

_Starmist sighs in relief. Steps forward to follow._

_Something grabs him, yanks him back. Hooks the back of his shirt, drags him away from the gate. He chokes; fumbles at his sides for his weapons, but comes up empty. _

I left them in my backpack.

_The backpack that is still sitting in Lion's Arch, where he had set it down before their fight._

_The thing holding on to him screams. Ear-piercing, head-splitting. He claps his hands over his ears, but he can hear them ringing, can feel his body curling up from the shock._

_He blacks out._

\-----

A hand is shaking him awake, turning to gentle shoves. A voice calls his name; lightly exasperated, a sighing cadence.

“Star_miiiiist_. Get up, c'mon.”

He opens one eye, the last tendrils of the dream fading; he makes out a light pink glow. He sighs through his nose. “Lemme sleep, Mura.”

“No. I just returned, I want my bed back.”

“We can share.” He shifts onto his side, the hammock tilting. A moment later, he feels the dip of the material in the other direction as she climbs in beside him.

Starmist feels her lay her head against his chest, an arm and a leg wrapping around his body as if he is a large pillow. He feels her satisfied grumble, the tiny sigh that gets lost in his shirt.

“Goodnight.”

“’night.”

They sleep on.

\-----

They’re lagging behind the warband, Aron carrying the still-sleeping sylvari on his back. He’s pretty sure this is the real one, because the clones don’t talk in their sleep.

Aeris mumbles something, then inhales sharply. Aron ignores him and the tightening of limbs around his neck. It’s not a sign he’s awake. It could be another nightmare.

He wonders what his friend is dreaming about, but he thinks he might know.

_I'm going to ask the legionnaire for a week off, then take this plant back to the Grove and leave him there. _

_Stupid stick needs to sort out his problems._

Aron wonders if the Commander is back from her latest trip yet, if she’ll be home.

He supposes he’ll find out soon.

\-----

He wakes slowly, wondering what the warmth next to him is, wondering why it is so small. He can hear soft exhales, the weight of a head on his chest, but it’s not quite right. It's too light.

He blinks too many times and squints at the person beside him.

_Oh. Just Murasaki._

He hates admitting to himself that he still feels disappointed, after all this time.

_He’s not coming back, stop doing this._

_“Emotions make you weak.”_

He can’t really disagree with the assassin.

Starmist gets up slowly, pulling away and out of the hammock. Murasaki shifts in her sleep but does not rouse; he gently lays her head back down, watching her breathing return to normal.

He exhales lightly and turns away, picking up and sliding his weapons into place. He glances at the armour set in the corner but decides to leave it be. No point in putting them on when he’s not leaving yet.

_“What is the point of putting on only half of one’s clothes? Do it properly.”_

_Shut up, Shiro. At least I took my weapons._

_“One day you’ll return to the Mists because of your sheer stupidity and carelessness, and I will remind you what it means to allow your foolhardy consciousness to 'relax'.”_

_“It’s his house. Why must he carry weapons at all?”_

Starmist can foresee the assassin's reply.

_“You strike in the home, where the enemy is undressed and thinks himself safe. Never let your guard down.”_

Ventari sighs.

A rustle at the door catches his attention, and he hears hissing as the cats flee.

Starmist makes his way there, mildly curious, but he isn’t too worried. Despite Shiro’s misgivings, the Wardens wouldn’t let anyone suspicious into the Grove – the cats just don’t like strangers.

He pulls the curtain-door aside to greet the person.

His heart stops; his breath catches in his chest.

The large charr raises an eyebrow at him and coughs lightly, catching his attention, shattering his frozen state. “Can I, uh, deposit my friend?”

“What did you do to him?” Starmist doesn’t move, but he’s already drawing on the nearest spirit's power. Demonic energy fills him, the tendrils ready for him to take hold of if something goes wrong.

(He tells himself he doesn’t care that his voice broke, there at the end.)

The charr doesn’t seem to notice, his tone nonchalant as he answers. “Oh, he’s just sleeping. I think this is the real one, because he’s been–”

“–talking in his sleep,” Starmist finishes, eyes fixed on Aeris’s face, on his moving lips.

“…yeah.” The charr looks at him curiously. “You know him?”

“Knew. Once.” It’s not untrue. Starmist steps aside, releasing the energy now that he knows nothing is wrong. Mallyx growls at him, but he ignores the demon. “Come in, you can put him down and I’ll get you a drink. It can’t have been easy to carry him all this way.” Why is he being so hospitable?

“Thanks. Much appreciated.” The charr follows him, footsteps light.

Starmist hears a sharp intake of breath as they walk into the sleeping area, and glances over his shoulder. The charr is staring, and he follows his gaze to the hammock and its occupant.

_Play it cool._

“Bring him over, I’ll just shift Murasaki.”

The footsteps follow after a beat of hesitation. Starmist ducks around the hammock, gently sliding his arms under and lifting his sleeping friend.

Murasaki doesn’t stir. Her entire body is limp, and Starmist struggles to hold her up. She’s heavier than she looks.

“Put him down.” He tries to keep his voice level, but he’s not sure if the charr can pick up the strain in it. If he does, he doesn’t say anything.

The charr pulls Aeris off his back, lowering and tucking all his limbs into the hammock before stepping backwards. Starmist takes his turn and drapes Murasaki on top of him, trying to arrange her comfortably without touching her brother. He pretends not to hear the charr’s snort, the feeling of surprise emanating from him.

He needn’t have worried. The twins shift themselves to fit each other – Aeris’s arms pulling Murasaki close, her hands fisting in his shirt. They curl into each other, their breathing stuttering before synchronising, until the only way to tell them apart is the colour of their clothing.

Starmist smiles lightly, sadly. He steps around the hammock, lightly touching the stunned charr's elbow and gesturing with a tilt of his head. The charr follows.

The small kitchen is next to the sleeping area, but Starmist pours them drinks and leads the way up to the higher levels, overlooking parts of the Grove. The charr looks hesitant at first, but gingerly sits beside him on the ground, paws carefully cradling the cup. They sit in silence for a long moment, neither taking the first step to speak.

“Are… Are they always like that?”

Starmist glances up, but the charr isn’t looking at him. He nods. “Some sort of twin thing, I think. They always know when the other is near. But they’ll still scream when they wake up.”

“What?”

“Their bodies know but their minds don’t.” Starmist tells him. “It’s hilarious. You have to stay until they wake.”

The charr looks uncertain but agrees before changing the subject. “You seem to know them well.”

“Murasaki’s my best friend,” Starmist shrugs. “You can’t know her for long without knowing her brother.”

A loud guffaw surprises him, the charr smacking his knee with mirth. “I knew it. All of Tyria knows he has a sister complex. The famed Commander has a clingy brother! What a joke.” He keeps laughing, and it sounds genuine.

It’s not how Starmist would phrase it, but he can’t disagree. He has to admit that the charr is humorous, if a bit crude. “They are absurdly close.”

“_Sure_ they are. I bet there’s something funny going on there.”

Starmist nearly spits out his drink. “…I'm not going into details, but you’re not wrong.”

The charr whips around to stare at him; all laughter gone, jaw hanging. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“I didn’t specify anything.”

The charr groans. “I’m never talking to a sylvari about this again. I don’t want to _know._”

Starmist grins. He can sense his embarrassment, tinged with how disturbed he is. “I shall not divulge anything else then.”

“_Very_ much appreciated.” The charr changes tracks. “What about your name? That’s a safe topic, isn’t it?”

He blinks. “I'm Starmist.”

He doesn’t expect the charr to choke and reaches over, patting his back in concern. “You okay?”

The charr looks at him with streaming eyes and points a claw at him. “You’re Aeris's ex-lover.”

His blood goes cold. “Who are you?”

_Why do you know this?_

“Aron Blizzardclaw, Blizzard warband, Iron Legion.”

_Aeris’s warbandmate._

Starmist tries to keep calm. “And now we know who the other is.”

“Indeed.” Aron is still staring at him, the occasional hiccup making its way out. “You don’t look like much.”

“No, I guess not.” It’s not the first time someone’s said that to him. Staying incognito has always been part of Starmist’s nature. “You look like a big charr.”

“Biggest in my farahr,” Aron brags. “But enough about me. I got some questions for you.”

“I still don’t understand who you are or why you know these things.”

His head is light with encroaching panic, and he struggles to keep his thoughts straight.

_Stall for time, stall for time._

“I’m Aeris’s friend.” Aron shrugs. “Found him sulking a couple days ago and he told me some things about you. I’m tired of his angst, so I dragged him here.”

Starmist can’t hold his gaze. “What did he say?”

“Besides how he still loves you and that he’s annoyed with you? Not much.” Aron grouses, taking a large sip.

Starmist can’t breathe.

“He didn’t…actually say that, did he?”

(He knows Aeris. How he is now. He wouldn’t have said that–)

“Not about loving you, no. Guessed that one myself. His glow turned just about red when I said it.” Aron snorts at the memory. “He did say you’re annoying, though.”

Starmist smiles lightly, though it hurts. “Of course he did.”

Aron stares at him, putting his chin on a fist. “You’re a revenant?”

Starmist cocks his head at the change in topic. “Yes?”

“How’d you become one?”

“Fell into the Mists, learnt to hit harder and draw on the only resources I had. I didn’t have any weapons on me at the time, and couldn’t find any until a lot later.” He shrugs. “I think I still have some of my old skills, but I’m too used to this, now. The spirits won’t leave my head, so I can’t focus even if I did try to go back to how I used to fight. I can’t fight very well without my blindfold anyway.”

“Old skills?” Aron sounds intrigued. “How'd you fight before?”

“Just–” Starmist gets to his feet, walking casually to the edge of the mushroom and looking over. He hears Aron scramble to join him, and turns to face him, dropping his cup–

And shadowsteps close, his sword drawn and up against his neck. “–like that.”

Aron rears back, palming his daggers, but Starmist has already shadowstepped back to his original spot, raising his shield. The cone of fire bends around his body and the energy shield, none of the flames touching him.

He looks over the shield when the fire stops, quickly putting away his weapons. “Sorry about that.”

Aron looks stricken, sheathing his daggers with a bit more force than necessary. “I– Flame and soot, I’m sorry, too. That hasn’t happened in a while.”

This piques Starmist's interest. “Done what? The fire? Isn’t it normal for an elementalist?”

“Burn me, no– I mean, yes, but– No!”

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Starmist tells him. “It’s just magic.”

“It’s never 'just magic' with charr,” Aron mutters. “Don’t repeat that to any other charr, you hear? My legionnaire is always looking for a reason to toss me out.”

Starmist nods, miming zipping his lips. “I’d forgotten your people dislike magic.”

“Yeah, well,” Aron flops down. “Not hard to forget if you hardly spend time with us.”

“I’ve met a gladium or two.” Starmist picks up his empty cup, setting it by his side as he re-joins Aron. “They were all right.”

“No charr is really 'all right' without a warband. It’s like being dehorned, declawed, defanged.

“Speaking of weapons,” Aron gestures at Starmist’s weapons. “I wondered why you didn’t take those off in your own home. Geez!” He glares at them, grumbling. “I can’t believe it. You were trained as a thief. A highly wary one, at that. Damn, that’s a huge change in style.”

Starmist traces the rim of his empty cup, hiding a smile at Aron’s perceptiveness. “Yeah. That’s the main reason why I took so long to find a way back to Tyria. I wasn’t able to find a way out when I couldn’t hit harder than they hit me.”

“Who is 'they'?” Aron sounds genuinely curious, but Starmist shudders.

“The Mists are full of things. Worse monsters than you can find on Tyria, and spectres that haunt you. Every bad thing that you can imagine and worse is in there. I don’t want to go into detail.”

Aron nods. “I can respect that.”

“Thanks.”

A beat of silence, and the questions return. “What weapons did you use as a thief?”

“Why do you want to know?”

Aron shrugs. “’m curious. There’s also a theory I want to confirm.”

Starmist peers at him, curious. “Double pistols, sword and dagger sometimes.”

The charr taps his chin with a claw. “Hmm. Maybe only half the theory works.”

“What are you thinking about?”

“Aeris’s weapon choice. He used to use double swords. Or that’s the weapons he preferred when we found him. He swapped to the pistol and the axe when he followed the Commander to the desert.” Aron glances at Starmist. “Maybe he picked up the pistol because it reminded him of you.”

Starmist can’t help it – his heart flutters. “A romantic notion.”

“Isn’t it? So juicy.” Aron rubs his paws together, grinning. “That damn plant never tells me anything good, I gotta weed it out of him.” Aron raises an eyebrow as Starmist makes a face. “What?”

“Bad pun.”

“Pun? Oh–” Aron groans. “Didn’t mean it. It slipped out.”

“I’m kidding, it was pretty good.”

“Thanks. Oh, hey, I just thought of another thing.”

“What?”

“You know how mirages can do the shadowstep thing too?” Aron smiles slyly. “Maybe–”

Starmist smiles. “You’re reading too much into it. Mirage magic has thief elements in it, that’s all.”

The charr shrugs, completely unaffected. “Maybe, but it’s good fun.”

“Mm.”

“How’d you meet the Commander?”

“Do you ever stop asking questions?”

Aron grins. “Not if I can help it. I’m Iron Legion by training. It means you keep asking questions and innovating.”

“Fair enough.” Starmist is beginning to like this charr. “I actually met Murasaki because she was trying to set me up with her brother.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Not at all.” Starmist laughs. It feels good to laugh. “She was so blunt about it. 'Hi, my brother is too shy to talk to you, so I’m his mouthpiece. Please come talk to him so he’ll stop whining?'” He mimics Murasaki’s wide eyes and innocent tone, and Aron bursts into laughter.

“The Commander is _savage._”

“You don’t get that far in life without being that harshly honest,” the sylvari agrees. “She’s always been brave like that.”

“Gee, I need to spend more time with her. I know her a little, but she sounds like the exact opposite of her annoying brother.”

Starmist thinks about it. “They are kind of different. But similar in many ways.”

“As long as she’s not sulky like he is,” Aron grouses. “What a complete annoyance he is. Can’t even get him to tell me straight why he’s upset.”

Starmist shakes his head. “Some people never change.”

“What was he like? Back then.”

“Back then?”

“Yeah.” Aron seems unfazed by his weak attempt at deflection. “You said the Commander came to ask you to talk to him, right? Did you?”

“Are you asking me to tell you the entire story of how we met?”

(Starmist isn’t going to admit he’s slightly amused – and shocked – but he is amused.)

“Yeah, pretty much. You said I have to stay and watch them wake up.” He jerks a thumb in the direction of the sleeping twins. “Might as well have a story to pass the time.”

Starmist takes a deep breath. He’s never had to tell anyone, before.

(Everyone else knows or respects his space enough not to ask.)

“If you want to listen, I guess I could tell you. But how about I get some more drinks and some snacks first?”

He’s stalling, but Aron doesn’t seem to notice or mind.

“Ooh, snacks. Yes, please.”

\-----

_He’s testing a blade on a piece of wood when a small female sylvari skips up to him. Her eyes are wide and innocent, and her pink glow contrasts nicely with her blue skin._

_“Hi. I’m Murasaki. My twin is hiding somewhere behind that pillar, and he really wants to talk to you but is too much of a coward to, so I came instead. Could you do me a favour and talk to him, please? I’m tired of his whining.”_

_He can’t help his lips twitching into a smile. “I like your honesty.”_

_She shrugs. “He’s getting on my nerves. So, please?”_

_He doesn’t see why not. It could be interesting. “Sure. Lead on.”_

_She skips ahead, twisting back a little to grin at him. “What’s your name?”_

_“Starmist.”_

_“Nice name. Mother picked well.”_

_“She did.” He falls in step beside her. “What's your brother’s name?”_

_“He can introduce himself.” They stop just before a bend, Murasaki staring at a wall. She sighs and puts a hand on it, running her palm over its surface as she continues forward. “Sorry, I’m not very good at magic yet. My brother does stealth spells better than I do, and I have to find him the regular way.”_

_Starmist is intrigued. “I know a bit of magic. I can try to help you find him.” _

_“Thanks. If I can’t find him this way, that would help a lot. What type of magic are you learning?”_

_“Oh, bits and pieces. Mostly stealth and cloaking. A bit like Firstborn Caithe.”_

_Murasaki turns to grin at him. “Thief magic, that’s cool. My brother and I are learning mesmer magic. There’s a bit of stealth in that, but it’s mostly illusions.”_

_“Curious. Why that?”_

_Murasaki lifts and drops a shoulder. “To confuse people. You’ll understand when we find my brother.” _

_They round the bend, Murasaki’s hand catching on something. She fumbles, scrabbling a little before she grabs a hold of it with a triumphant “Gotcha!” The inconspicuous image of the wall shimmers and dissipates._

_A tall male with the same skin colour as Murasaki grimaces as he reappears. His glow flares a deeper pink than hers as he tries to break free of her grip. “Mura!”_

_“You're being stubborn. Introduce yourself, c'mon.”_

_The male glances at him and looks away immediately, biting on his lip. His whisper is low and urgent. “Mura, _please_.”_

_“No. The least you could do is be polite and introduce yourself. I did it, it’s not hard.”_

_“It is for me!”_

_“Shut your trap and introduce yourself, brother dear.”_

_Starmist decides to put the poor guy out of his misery. Murasaki is evidently someone that you do _not_ mess with. “Hi, I’m Starmist.” _

_A pause, and then–_

_“Even his name is beautiful,” he hears the other mutter. The compliment brings a smile to his face, warming him to the stranger. _

_The male finally makes eye contact, his smile so shy it looks painful. “Hi. I’m Aeris.”_

_“You’ve got a pretty name too,” Starmist offers, laughing when Aeris’s eyes widen. _

_“You heard that?”_

_“Only a deaf person couldn’t have heard you,” Murasaki comments drily, her hand still wrapped around his arm. “My job here is done.” _

_She releases her brother, smiling brightly at Starmist. “It was good to meet you. I’ll see you later, there’s somewhere I have to be.” _

_She grabs the front of her brother’s shirt and yanks him down to her – Starmist hadn’t noticed before, but Aeris is a whole head and a half taller – pecking him on the cheek and skipping away._

_Aeris straightens slowly, rubbing his cheek. He’s not looking at Starmist again. “Sorry about her.”_

_“Don’t be. She is her own person.” He looks up at Aeris – funny, how someone so tall could be so maladroit – and asks, “She said you’re siblings?”_

_Aeris nods, rubbing the back of his neck. “Pod twins. All sylvari are technically siblings, aren’t we?”_

_Starmist chuckles. “That’s right.” He sweeps an arm out over the expanse of the Grove. “Would you like to walk with me?”_

_Aeris doesn’t hesitate, despite how uncomfortable he seems. He nods shyly, falling into step beside Starmist._

_“Murasaki said you’re learning mesmer magic?”_

_(Starmist hasn’t really had conversations with others before. He’s not sure what to talk about, or how to lead one.)_

_Aeris nods. “Mura thought it’d be fun to confuse people. We look pretty similar, other than the height and gender.”_

_Starmist takes another look at Aeris. He can sort of see what he means. Added to how mesmer magic works, it wouldn’t take too much finesse to create an illusion just slightly different to themselves to match their sibling._

_He then thinks about his vague memories, things he saw in the Dream. Weren’t males usually the ones who led, and females followed? Or was that just for humans? “But what do _you _want to do? Surely there’s something you’re interested in.”_

_Aeris shakes his head. “I haven’t found anything I like yet. I'm somewhat decent with mesmer magic, so I’ll stick with it.” He pauses for a second, his voice a little softer as he asks, “What about you? What do you do?”_

_It’s a very broad question, but Starmist figures he’ll be straightforward. “I’m learning thief magic. But I prefer crafting.”_

_“Crafting?” Aeris’s eyes go wide. “What type?”_

_Starmist shrugs. “For now, artificing. Want to watch me work?”_

_“Yes, if you don’t mind me watching…?”_

_“I wouldn’t have offered if I minded.” Starmist smiles and leads them back towards the crafting sector. “I don’t really know what I’m doing yet, but you can watch if you’re sure you won’t be bored.”_

_“Oh, I won’t.” Aeris looks around at all the different crafting stations, slack-jawed. “There’s so much to do here.”_

_“And this is just the Grove. Imagine what’s out there, in the rest of Tyria.”_

_Aeris’s attention snaps back to him. “So much. I remember just a little from the Dream, but the world is just…huge.”_

_“It is, isn’t it?” Starmist pulls out his tools again, chipping at the wood he was working on before. “It’d be interesting to go out there, don’t you think?”_

_“If you had someone to go with, sure. It must be lonely to go by yourself.”_

_Starmist looks at him, hands stilling. Aeris is examining one of the tools, eyes occasionally flicking to him, still chewing on his lip. He looks nervous, but strangely adorable._

_He might try to be this guy’s friend after all. It might be nice, to have a friend._

_“We could go together, if you’d like.” _

_The other's eyes snap to meet his, brimming with disbelief. Starmist shrugs. “Unless you’d prefer to go with your sister.”_

_“No! No, that’s okay.” Aeris takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “Mura likes exploring on her own. I don’t want to bog her down. She knows I’m not a fan of figuring it out on my own like she is. I’d like to go with you.”_

_Starmist grins, his woodwork forgotten. “Then adventuring we shall go.”_

\-----

Aron drums his claws on the table. “That doesn’t sound very exciting.”

Their cups are half-empty, though they have been refilled twice. The pile of cookies has been completely demolished, and their weapons (alongside Aron's armour) sit against the wall.

“You wanted to hear me tell the story,” Starmist reminds. “I didn’t say it’d be exciting.”

“Ugh, fine. That sounds so unlike Aeris though. Him, shy? An awkward mess?” The charr snorts. “What a joke.”

“That’s what he was like.” Starmist smiles, eyes drifting as he loses himself in another memory. “Ungainly, but so careful with others, always waiting for someone else to lead him. He’s just a big puppy. That’s why Mura used to boss him around so much.”

“Is she the older twin?”

Starmist shakes his head. “I don’t know. You know about sylvari Wyld Hunts?”

“No.”

“They’re a sort of…mandate? Mission? From the Dream. It could be to protect the people, it could be to cleanse Orr. It’s like a compulsion – you can’t get rid of it until it’s completed.

“Murasaki woke with a Wyld Hunt. She was supposed to slay Zhaitan, which as you know, led to her becoming the Pact Commander. Aeris didn’t. Just before they woke, Murasaki was calling out because she was dreaming of her Hunt, and Aeris was holding on to her tightly. No one knows which one of them fell out of the pod first, since they kind of fell together.”

“Huh. Okay.” Aron taps his chin. “So Aeris just woke up with a sister complex, huh?”

Starmist snorts. “Oh, I don’t know. Murasaki loves him a lot too, so it’s not that weird.”

“Siblings with that much care and affection for each other _are_ weird.”

“I wouldn’t know about that.”

“No, I guess not.” Aron tilts his head and considers him. “I’ll have to take you to the farahr sometime, to see what sibling rivalry and stuff actually looks like. Then you’ll see what I mean.”

“Sure.” Starmist is intrigued. “That sounds interesting.”

Aron nods to himself, as if checking off a mental list. “Okay, so tell me more.”

Starmist sighs with a touch of fondness.

This charr – and his curiosity – is definitely growing on him.

\-----

_Starmist vaguely remembers what love should feel like. It’s one of the strongest emotions, so it definitely fed back into the Dream as an experience for all forming sylvari. But to feel the visages of it himself – it is intriguing but terrifying._

_Perhaps he should talk to Murasaki._

_He slips away from the crafting station, heading for her small garden. She used to share a communal one with many other sylvari, but her experiences in Tyria have made her flighty, nervous. She said she had nightmares, and she’d rather not burden others around her with it. It was her pain and duty to bear._

_The menders respected that. He remembers a small mender by the name of Sei helping to shape her garden and bower. _

_He always thought Sei a little odd in appearance. He looked so tough, hardened by the world, but he had the sweetest, wisest soul of any sylvari he had ever met. It was even more odd because his dearheart Laena was a Warden. _She _was the fierce one. Gentle in appearance, slim and seemingly fragile, but she could launch several Nightmare hounds by herself, and wasn’t afraid of using her weapons to 'talk'._

_Starmist reaches the bower, picking up and ringing a small bell by the entrance. He still remembers what happened the first time he entered without doing that. He’s not keen on being attacked by several clones again._

_“Come in!”_

_He pushes leaves aside and steps in, seeking the source of the voice. He finds her lounging in a hammock, one leg bent at the knee, the other stretched out. Murasaki turns to face him as he approaches, and her face lights up. “Starmist! Good to see you.”_

_“And you. Resting?”_

_“As much as I can rest while lying here.” She sighs, waving him to a patch of soft grass before returning to staring at the ceiling. “Sleeping gets boring after a while. I want to _explore_. But it’s so hard to go anywhere without random things attacking me, and that’s the part I’m tired of.”_

_“If you took some company along, they could take care of the fighting for you.”_

_“Mercenaries?” She asks, mouth quirking at the corner. “I’m not paying good silver for that. I can take care of myself. I just want the world to leave me alone for a bit, you know?”_

_He thinks about it. “I think I do.”_

_“Mm. But you came here to ask something, right? What is it?”_

_Starmist smiles sheepishly. “What gave it away?”_

_Murasaki’s head lolls to the side and she grins at him. “You’re usually too glued to your work to do anything else.”_

_He shrugs. “You’ve got me. I did want to ask you something.”_

_“Go ahead.”_

_“Have you ever felt like you were in love?” He questions. “I know we’ve all felt remnants of it in the Dream, but it’s different, here in the world.”_

_Murasaki’s fingers drum on her thigh. “I know what affection feels like. Love, not so much. I wouldn’t define it as that.”_

_“Alright then, affection. What’s that like?”_

_“Why don’t you tell me what you’ve been feeling, and we compare?” She smiles slyly. _

_Starmist rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “It’s like a great fondness for the other person. Being happy when they’re happy, amused by their antics, finding the ridiculous things they do silly, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Their pain is your pain, and you want to hold them tight and wish away their tears or the burden on them. You want to do everything with them, because they make even the most mundane things fun.”_

_Murasaki smirks at him. “Do you want to hold them tight and kiss them?”_

_“Sometimes,” he admits._

_“Sounds like my definition of affection, but a little more intense. Oh, I forgot to ask, _where_ would you like to kiss them?”_

_“Their mouth, maybe?” Starmist stares, bewildered. “Isn’t that what we hear people do?”_

_“Yeah, and if you stand and stare long enough, you’d see them do it too,” she says drily. “Yup, your sort of affection sounds a lot stronger than mine. Let’s term your feelings ‘love’, shall we?”_

_Starmist laughs at the abrupt change of direction the conversation takes. “You are utterly ridiculous.”_

_“And mine is called ‘affection’,” she continues, though her smile gives her away. “Alright, now tell me who it is you think you might be in love with.”_

_“You’ve been looking forward to asking that question.”_

_“Indeed I have.” Murasaki’s smile doesn’t fade. “C’mon, tell me.”_

_Starmist rolls his eyes, and his glow flares a shade darker than it usually is. “I might love Aeris.”_

_He is taken aback when Murasaki claps her hands together, giggling madly. The hammock sways with her movement. “Oh, Mother forgive me, I’ve waited too long for this day.”_

_“You what?”_

_“Remember that day I made you come talk to Aeris?” She’s still grinning, now twisted completely on her side to face him. “I hoped that you might love him as he has loved you, since, well, the first time he saw you.”_

_“He what?” Starmist is flabbergasted. “I always suspected he had a crush on me, but ‘love’ is pushing it a little, isn’t it?”_

_“Oh no,” she sing-songs. “He’s been smitten for ages. Though I admit, he has better patience than me. It only took him the better half of a year to win you over.”_

_Starmist starts laughing; the situation is too ridiculous. “You are an awful friend and a worse sister.”_

_“I have to find my entertainment _somewhere_, you know.” Murasaki is beaming; she looks a lot more relaxed than when he first stepped in. “Luckily, I am related to pretty good drama. This might even be as good as the dramatics of the humans!”_

_“You insult us.” He puts a hand over his heart. “Us? _Almost_ as good as humans?”_

_“Hmm, no, you’re right. I’m out of the loop.” She winks. “I’ll have to go to Divinity’s Reach soon and ask around for the latest gossip.”_

_“Utterly despicable behaviour.”_

_“All in good fun, my friend. Oh, I hear someone coming. Wonder who that could be?” Her tone is teasing, but Starmist’s smile freezes on his face._

_Murasaki notices right away, her expression softening. “I’m kidding. There’s no one there.”_

_“I’m glad I’ve been degraded to ‘no-one’ in your eyes, sister.” Aeris steps in, rolling his eyes. “That makes it easier for me to come and go.”_

_“Nonsense, I’m the one who has to disappear so often.” She sighs sadly, her demeanour drooping. “Speaking of which, I need to go to that new stronghold that Trahearne mentioned. It’s almost ready.”_

_“We could accompany you part of the way there. Take the scenic route, explore a little.” Starmist glances at Aeris for the first time since he entered the room. He looks away quickly when he realises the other is looking at him. _

_Murasaki’s face lights up. “Would you really?”_

_“What happened to asking me first?” Aeris sidles over to nudge Starmist’s arm, voice light. “'We' could accompany Mura? Really?”_

_“I thought you might like to come,” Starmist says. “But you have a point. Would you like to accompany me as I accompany your sister to this new stronghold of the Pact?”_

_“Yes, I would. Thank you for asking.”_

_Murasaki sighs loudly. “Are you two over this 'being polite' business yet? If we’re going to go, I want to go as soon as possible.”_

_“You should be resting.”_

_“I’m _bored _of resting, Aeris.” Murasaki pouts at him. “There’s nothing to do in here.”_

_“Well… If you put it that way…”_

_The insinuation is loud and clear, even to Starmist. _

_(He knows the twins have a more… Physical side to their relationship with each other, but they’ve never been this blatant about it.)_

_Murasaki rolls her eyes. “No, I’m not _that_ bored. We’ll leave tomorrow, how about that? That gives me time to talk to Mother before we leave.”_

_“Fine by me.” Starmist speaks first, to dispel the awkward atmosphere. Or maybe he’s the only one that feels it._

_(He’s becoming too sensitive to this topic. Only humans and their scandals worry this much about sex.)_

_“And by me. I’ll go pack a few things.”_

_“Splendid.” Murasaki clambers out of the hammock. “I’ll go talk to Mother, you two be good.”_

_Starmist frowns at her as she leaves, but she just winks and waves gaily._

_“What’s she talking about? We’re always good.” Aeris grumbles as he walks deeper into the small garden. _

_“Who knows.” Starmist stands and follows him. He allows himself one nervous squeeze of his hands before he drops them to his sides. “What do you think we’ll need?”_

_“Some food, at the very least.”_

_Starmist rolls his eyes, a smile lifting his lips. “Anything else?”_

_“A change of clothes, in case. Water skins, snacks…”_

_“Very practical of you.”_

_“Mura’s rubbing off on me.” Aeris picks out some items from the food basket, handing them to Starmist to place on the table. They move to the sleeping area and get their individual bags, packing what they need. They work in silence, the air filled with the sounds of their work. It doesn’t take long for them to finish._

_“Got your armour?”_

_“Yeah. Weapons?”_

_“Yep, and an extra set.”_

_They set their bags by the door, ready for the morning. Their heads nearly collide as they straighten, and Starmist laughs nervously._

_Aeris glances at him, a wry smile on his lips. “What’s on your mind?”_

_The shorter sighs, nervousness doubling. “Why are you and your sister both so astute?”_

_“We’re mesmers. We know minds.”_

_“I always forget that.” He shakes his head. “Take a walk with me?”_

_“Of course.”_

_They step out of the bower, following the path through the Grove. It’s day, but the flowers still shine brightly, for not much light reaches the deepest level of their city._

_Starmist’s eyes wander, taking in their city, occasionally drifting to the tall male walking beside him. He seems relaxed, but his eyes are darting all over the place, betraying his compounding nervousness. _

_(That makes two of them.)_

_Their eyes meet, and Aeris turns away before Starmist can. It’s so like him that Starmist can’t help but smile._

_“Aeris?”_

_“Yes?”_

_They’ve stopped now, in the shadow of one of the gardens. Aeris isn’t looking at him, so Starmist places a hand on his elbow, turning him until they’re face to face._

_“Look at me, hey. I’m not that awful to look at, am I?”_

_“Of course not.” Aeris’s eyes snap to his, shocked. “You have to know that you’re amazingly good-looking.” He snaps his mouth shut after the words are out, eyes dropping, his glow flaring with embarrassment._

_“That’s not what I said, but thank you.” Starmist smiles, his heart rate speeding up a little. “You wanted to know what was on my mind, right?”_

_Aeris flounders, a complete reversal of his earlier confidence. “If you don’t want to share, that’s okay! Forget about it! I don’t want to pressure you or anything–”_

_Starmist squeezes his arm, cutting him off. He takes a deep breath. “If you want an honest answer, I was thinking about you.”_

_Aeris splutters, flaring bright pink. _

_Starmist barrels on. “I was just saying to your sister that I think I might love you. 'Might' because I don’t know what love feels like, so this is all pretty new to me.”_

_Aeris is chewing on his lip._

_Starmist takes this as a good sign, throwing caution to the wind._

_“And I was going to ask if you would let me love you. Treat you as a lover would, and not just a friend.”_

_The silence stretches between them, thin and fragile. He’s forgotten how to speak; his throat is so dry._

_“Do you mean it?” Aeris sounds hesitant, halting. He looks so nervous, and his question is loaded with uncertainty._

_“Of course.” A horrifying thought occurs to him, despite what Murasaki said before. “Unless you don’t feel the same way. In which case I beg you to forget this conversation–”_

_A pair of hands grip his shoulders firmly, cutting him off. Bright nickel eyes focus on his own, the intensity in them quieting Starmist, even as his anxiety spikes. _

_“Of _course_ I feel the same way.” Aeris only hesitates a second before continuing. “I’ve only loved you since forever, but I didn’t think you’d ever feel the same as I did.”_

_Starmist can feel the sincerity in his words, and they make his heart skip, a wide smile splitting his face. He reaches up slowly, hands framing Aeris's face, pulling him down and setting their foreheads together._

_This close, he can hear the shallowness of his breath, the too-fast inhales. Their eyes lock, and he can’t help but marvel at the depth of colour in his eyes. Deep gold shot through with silver, the two melding together and sprinkled with copper flecks. Aeris _is _beautiful, and it’s taken Starmist too long to notice it._

Come on, ask him.

_“Can I kiss you?”_

_“Please.” It’s a whisper._

_Starmist closes his eyes and brings their lips together._

_It’s soft, warm, pliant. The plush feeling of flesh against his own is foreign but not unpleasant. It’s a curious feeling to have those lips move against his own, pressing gently, testing the waters. Pressing a little harder, more insistently. _

_It’s a bit of a shock when he feels his lower lip taken between the other's teeth – what else could that sharpness be? – but Aeris is gentle. A light touch, the testing of the give of flesh, a ticklish swipe across it, which could only be his tongue._

_Retreat, then the pressing of lips together again. Just flesh on flesh, slowly, gently. Pressing hard then lightly, pulling away._

_Starmist opens his eyes, breathless._

_Aeris isn’t looking at him, but his glow is still bright. “I’m– Sorry, I’ve daydreamed of doing that for the longest time.”_

_Starmist shakes his head, shifting his hands so one cups the back of Aeris’s neck and one threads through his hair. Holding him close, keeping their foreheads pressed together. “Don’t be. It was new to me, but still good.”_

_Aeris glances at him, smiling shyly. “Want to 'practice' again?”_

_Starmist laughs, leaning in for a quick peck, relishing the thrill that goes through him. He reaches for Aeris’s hand, lacing their fingers and tugging him along, shooting him a smirk over his shoulder._

_“Yes. But maybe somewhere where others can’t stare.”_

\-----

Aron grins stupidly, little rumbles coming from his chest. “Now _that_ is a juicy story. So _cute_.”

Starmist rolls his eyes, but there’s a tiny smile on his face. It’s a good memory for him. “I suppose so.”

“You _suppose?_” Aron snorts. “That was more romantic – and cheesy – than anything I would get in the warband or the legions. I need to spend more time in the Grove, rather than Divinity’s Reach!”

“You’re fond of gossip.” Starmist states, side-eyeing him, the corner of his mouth twitching up. It’s a hilarious thought.

“If you’ve been raised on war, romances like this are a welcome respite.” Aron shrugs. “Don’t tell my legionnaire, she thinks I’m too soft as it is.”

“I won’t.”

A sharp shriek from the next room cuts their conversation short. Starmist is out of his seat immediately, even before he hears the _thump_.

He can feel Aron's bulk coming up behind him, but doesn’t stop, even when he slips and crashes into the doorframe. The pain is insignificant, compared to the terror he felt in that cry.

He doesn’t know what his eyes register first – Murasaki on the floor, scooting away with one hand covering her mouth; or Aeris, half-awake, risen half-out of the hammock, an arm stretching out towards his sister.

_Even half-asleep he looks perfect._

Starmist runs to Murasaki to check if she’s hurt, shocked to see the tears on her face. He’s never seen – or felt – her this pained. “Mura…?”

It’s like she can’t hear him, her eyes still fixed on some faraway place. Little sobs escape her and the arm by her side is rigid; her fingers clench and relax in quick succession.

He kneels beside her, gently pressing his palms to her face to alert her before drawing her close. She buries her face in his shirt, one hand clenched in the material, one digging into his shoulder. He whispers reassuringly to her, one hand on the small of her back, the fingers of the other laced through her hair. Cradled this close, her sobs are audible, but he doesn’t understand them.

_“Aeris… No, please… Please… No, no, no, come _back_…!”_

Starmist glances up in confusion. Aron is distracting Aeris, talking softly to him. The sylvari's gesturing indicates his befuddlement as well.

Starmist strokes Murasaki’s hair, continuing to whisper soft reassurances to her. But her shaking only gets worse, her words a jumbled mess, alternating between _don’t leave me_ and _Aeris, no._

He doesn’t understand.

_A nightmare?_

_It has to be, Aeris is right here._

A tentative hand on his shoulder makes him look up; he almost cracks his head on the wall as he jerks away. Aeris barely glances at him despite his violent reaction. “May I?”

Starmist slowly releases her, gently prying her fingers off him. He may not understand why Murasaki is so distressed despite her brother being right beside her, but they’ve always been good together. For each other.

He can trust in this.

Aeris doesn’t move away for privacy. He pulls Murasaki into his lap, brushing the tears from under her eyes, whispering urgently. It’s loud enough that Starmist can still hear him, and it only confuses him further.

** _“Shh. Shh. It’s alright, I’m here.”_ **

** _“No, no, no. Don’t leave me, don’t abandon me.”_ **

** _“I’m here. I’m _ ** **here_.”_**

** _“No. No. You’re not. My Aeris is gone…”_ **

Does he imagine it, or does a pained expression cross Aeris’s face?

** _“Murasaki, please.”_ **

Starmist is confounded._ Aeris never calls her by her full name. What's going on?_

** _“Mura. Mura. I'm here. I’m here.”_ **

** _“You’re gone, you’re gone… You left me, you wouldn’t have me…”_ **

** _“Shh. Shh. I’m here. I won’t leave you again.”_ **

But her sobbing continues, and Starmist can’t stand it. He crawls over and places a hand on Aeris’s shoulder, murmuring to him as he glances over. “Press your forehead to hers.”

Aeris does so, still whispering to her, but it’s evident that she calms down almost immediately from the physical contact – her breathing stuttering but slowing, her eyes squeezed less tightly shut.

It gets stranger as Starmist watches – it’s all backward, what he’s witnessing now, as compared to what he saw years ago.

Murasaki turning her face up, eyes opening to look at her brother, but instead of leaning in, she inhales sharply, bites her lip and turns the other way. Her chest is heaving, breathing forced, heavy. Aeris doesn’t stop her or turn her head back, only pulling her in to rest against his chest, resting his chin atop her head. His hands sit awkwardly on her back, as if he doesn’t know how to hold her – but that’s not right, because he’s always known. He’s always known.

Hasn’t he?

Murasaki is quieter now, so Starmist scoots away, standing and walking around them. Neither twin looks up as he leaves and pulls a shocked Aron after him, taking them back to the kitchen.

Aron gestures wordlessly behind them, words failing him. His brows are knitted together. “That’s not the screaming you meant, is it?

Starmist shakes his head. “No. It used to be more surprised, and then there’d be a lot of laughing and shoving and cursing.”

“What’s that all about, then?”

Starmist looks back towards the other room, towards the friends he cannot see. “This once, I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

Aron’s ears twitch, picking up in something in his tone. “Explain.”

“Aeris should know how to comfort her.” Saying his name is painful, but even more painful is admitting to himself that something is very wrong. “The way he holds her, the way he tries to console her… That’s not right. That’s not how he used to do it.”

“I knew it,” Aron mutters. “I knew a ghost was possessing him.”

It’s such a ridiculous notion that Starmist barks out a laugh. “Maybe, but… It’s like he’s forgotten how to do it. How’s that possible? They’ve been together forever.”

Aron glances at him. “This is gonna sound weird coming from me, but… I've only known him a few years, and he’s always like this around her.”

“What?” Starmist is taken aback.

“Yeah. The Commander’s only stayed with us a few times, but every time we’ll hear her screaming in the middle of the night and it always takes _ages_ for her to calm down, whether Aeris is there or not. We always thought it was the PTSD – y'know, what with her being the Commander and all.”

Starmist knows what PTSD is and understands what Aron is trying to say. _All the wars she’s fought, all the people she’s lost and the sacrifices she’s had to make. All the soldiers she's sent to their deaths. _

Yet what he heard Murasaki saying doesn’t add up to that.

He mutters, half to himself, “She’s always calmed down when he’s there. At least, she _did_, but that was years ago. I haven’t seen them together in a long time…”

Another thought occurs to him, and Starmist’s eyes flick up to Aron's. “Hey, Mura was saying something about Aeris abandoning her. Know anything about that?”

“What?” Aron looks startled. “He’s always clinging to her, ever since he found her again. Why would he abandon her?”

“Found her again?”

_Again?_

“Yeah, me and him went to see Tribune Brimstone when he got summoned back to the Citadel. The tribune mistook him for the Commander, who was still in the Heart of Maguuma at the time. I suppose they were reunited after that – the tribune kicked me out of the room at that point, and then I didn’t see either of them for weeks. My guess is the tribune took him to her.” Aron shoots him a concerned look. “You didn’t know about that?”

Starmist can’t answer, but he supposes the look on his face says enough.

“Why _would_ he abandon her?”

Aron's mutter is soft, more contemplative than a real question, but Starmist still finds himself answering.

(He tries to pretend that his voice isn’t as broken as he feels inside.)

“I don’t know.”

_I don’t know._

But the Grove is quiet again, and neither of them really dare to check on the twins.

Or to ask.


End file.
